Getting kids off to school in a large family
get on the bus! NOW!
Up until this year, getting my boys off to school in the morning was a fairly simple process. Only two had school in the morning, and a bus picked them up half a block from the house. They didn’t even have to be on the bus until almost 8 AM–manageable even for non-morning-person me. William had afternoon young fives last year, so he, his little brother and I had a nice leisurely morning together before he got on the bus. And if I did miss out on sleep, Owen, the youngest boy, and I would settle down for an afternoon nap as soon as Will was gone. Easy peasy.
But this year? Things are a bit different. This year my eldest son Jacob started middle school, so he has to be on the bus by 7:15. Isaac and William, 10 and 6, both start at 8:20 but because the elementary school is within a mile, there is no bus. It’s a 10-15 minute walk with no major streets to cross and sidewalks all the way, so I’ve been having them walk it most days. But once the weather starts getting bad, that’s not always going to be an option. And since my husband works out of town most of the time, he’s not around to help out with either driving or kid-wrangling.
Sure, putting them in the car and driving them isn’t that huge a hassle, except that now we’ve also got the baby (6 months) and Owen, now three, to contend with. On the handful of days we’ve driven, something is always happening to make us late: a blowout diaper, a tantrum, a forgotten backpack.
I know, I know, this is just part of life in a larger family–at least those larger families that use school (feeling a little jealous of homeschoolers right now…). But I miss our old leisurely mornings, and I know it’s just going to get more complicated as the kids all move into different phases of their lives. Anyone out there feeling my pain? How do you deal with the school-morning shuffle?
30. September 2009 at 10:01 am :
OMG, it’s the bane of my existence. My oldest attends secondary school in the city and must be taken to the train in the neighbouring town every morning by 7 AM. She rides a half hour each way. The next child attends the local grade school in the next town over and must be there some mornings by 745, other mornings by 835. It changes from day to day. The third child must be in kindergarten (german preschool, 5 days a week, which nearly every 3-6 y.o. child attends) by 9 AM.
But wait! The fun is only beginning. Oldest daughter gets out of school some days at 1200, some days at 105 and some days at 210, getting off the train in the neighbouring town anywhere between 1 PM and 3 PM. That is, when everything is running to schedule. Frequently, she will call from the train station to tell me their last hour (or two) was dropped for any of a myriad of reasons. Son gets out of school anywhere between 1215, 105 or 2 PM each day, depending on what day of the week it is. He is also in the next town over and must be picked up. There are no school busses here.
Daughter #2 in kindergarten gets out between 1 and 2 PM, whenever suits me.
Oh, but hang on. I’m not done yet. Son was desperate to participate in drama after school. But there is an hour and a half break first before drama begins. He must be picked and brought home. And then returned at 2 and picked up at 330. Now he begins trumpet in the school band after school so I told him he’d have to drop drama. At least for now. Handball is Friday after school but there is another half hour break there. Daughter #2 has speech therapy in another town every Friday morning, then must be returned to Kindergarten. The therapist now wants her to come two mornings a week. Oldest daughter must be driven back over to flute lessons Tuesday evening. And picked up. And to youth orchestra Friday evenings. Thursdays evenings used to be gymnastics for oldest daughter (also had to be driven) but I told her she’d have to drop that since the baby came.
Oh yeah. Did I mention the 3 month old? The one who Does. Not. Sleep. She’s a night owl and dh and I are that close to losing our minds. Now mornings around here are more fun than EVER.
Yes, I feel your pain!!
P.S. How do we cope? Everything, and I mean EVERYthing that can be done the night before is done. Heck, if we’re really pressed for time, I’ll even have the kids put their coats, school bags and sports/swimming (they have sport class and/or swimming class three times a week in school) and musical instruments in the car the night before. Clothes are laid out night before as well. Bedtime is 730 PM and strictly observed.
I hate how school has completely taken control of our lives and interferes a good deal with our family life. School schedules, homework, parent evenings, Saturday and evening school activities, etc., etc. dictate what we can do and how much time we have. Unfortunately, homeschooling is illegal here.
30. September 2009 at 11:03 am :
Meagan,
Don’t you remember the walk to Jefferson in January? I think I can remember being driven maybe 3 times the whole time we went there. Uphill, both ways?
Of course this is a much different discussion than in Saratoga Springs, FL where it is actually illegal to walk or bike to school.
30. September 2009 at 11:41 am :
Buck, ah yes I remember that walk. Of course, there were times I really almost wandered away into a blizzard never to be heard from again a la The Long Winter, so I’m not sure I’m ready to go that far with my own kids…
but yes, I’ve heard about the school in FL that outlawed walking/biking to school. Ridiculous. have you seen this site: http://www.freerangekids.wordpress.com ?
30. September 2009 at 3:05 pm :
Even in the cold weather, they can walk! As long as you have boots and coats and hats. I know it gets REALLY cold in the winter and wandering off in a snow storm doesn’t sound good but I think it’s good for kids to stay out of the car and get exercise first thing in the morning!
30. September 2009 at 3:26 pm :
My recommendation is to invest in good boots, raincoats, etc. There’s no reason they can’t walk to school in rain or snow. Those might turn out to be their fondest memories.
30. September 2009 at 6:30 pm :
My oldest daughter is in kindergarten, so she gets on the bus now, which is SO much better than last year, when I had to haul her to UPK, along with her little brother and the baby. I agree with the first commenter about doing EVERYTHING the night before. Last year I even tried to have all the cereal, cereal bowls, spoons, vitamins, etc. on the table the night before so we could stumble down to the kitchen, grab the milk and OJ and be eating in two minutes. Mind you, I’m not always as organized as all that, and even with my daughter riding the bus, it’s frantic here. I’ve had mornings where I am finishing braiding her hair as we walk (run!) to the end of the driveway to get on the waiting bus! We’re expecting #4 next spring, should add to the fun!
30. September 2009 at 10:59 pm :
I feel that pain too with the same number of kids at relatively the same ages. Everyone is in school now except for the 8 week-old baby. She was born at the beginning of August, and I think I did spend the next three weeks begging the bigger ones to homeschool. (I’d put that semi-colon as a winking smiley face there, except that might reflect that I’m kidding and I’m not. I really pleaded with them. They turned me down.) Failing at that, I have to make sure the baby is fed every morning before we go (or that my nursing pads are in because it’s going to be a leaky drive). We live in the boonies and take the major highway into town for school, so no walking. My elementary school kids have to be there at 7:55, but my oldest doesn’t have to be at middle school until 8:40. Unfortunately, the schools are less than 5 minutes apart in traffic, and I’m unwilling to make two trips not to mention leaving her home alone while I drop off the younger kids.
We are doing OK so far, but as others have posted, we have EVERYTHING out the night before and I have a ton of rules about how dressed you have to be before you can get breakfast. And a very strict cut-off for when we MUST be in the car, dressed or not. (You only have to stick them in there in their pj’s once.) Most of my breakfasts can move from the table to the car if need be. Half of the time, I am nursing and directing traffic from the couch which makes me crazy as I want to be more hands-on with a couple of the kids. Anyway, I am always exhausted by the time we load everyone into the car, buckle seat belts, and get moving; but we’ve only been late once. Just wanted you to know I felt your pain.
1. October 2009 at 11:56 pm :
I hear you guys loud and clear!! The big kids actually sleep in their school clothes! (My 2 little ones don’t go until the afternoon.) And on the one day a week I have Bible study at church (the littles come with and go to the nursery) I sleep in my clothes!! Sad, but true!
Carrie
2. October 2009 at 11:27 am :
Jennifer, it’s not so much cold weather that I see as a deterrent to walking, but deep snow, extreme cold or freezing rain. My kids are still young enough that I’m not comfortable sending them out in that kind of thing without me. And, well, I’m adventurous, but not adventurous enough to trudge that far through deep snow with four kids…
6. October 2009 at 6:02 am :
I print out small checklists that my kids follow. I taped envelopes to the inside of one of my cabinet doors and the kids know to find them there. The checklists I have created are: After School, Before Bed, and Morning. Most of the prepping for school gets done the night prior: picking out clothes, filling and zipping backpack, lunch made, putting bag, shoes and outerwear by the door, etc. That way when the kids are sleepy and not thinking straight in the morning, they just need to dress, groom, and eat breakfast. This helps cut down on my nagging in addition to getting us out of the door on time (instead of trying to hunt down a hat, shoe, etc). Also the kids know they have their list to do after they get home from school, so again, less nagging. The After School list includes: washing of hands, snack time (limited to 10 minutes), homework, put away outerwear, backpack, etc, clean out backpack, practice instrument, & 5 minute room”zoom” clean (I set the timer and they try and clean as fast as they can - works for younger kids). Once those are done, then they can do whatever they want. With my 2nd grader, I have to get really specific, but I try to make the check lists short. Everyone knows what to expect, so I rarely get whining.
7. October 2009 at 7:43 pm :
I am glad for school buses out here in rural central NY state. I have nine kids in school this year, 5 finished with school, and a three year old and almost two year old at home. 5 kids get on the 7:30 bus, and 4 on the 8:30 bus. The first trip kids take care of their own clothes, but I try to make them something for breakfast, even if it is just a bagel. The second trip kids are in 4th, 3rd, 2nd, and kindergarten. I have their clothes ready for them, and make them breakfast each morning. They have a whole hour to get ready for school, and it usually isn’t too crazy until the last 5 minutes when they remember the things like the homework they forgot to tell me about, or something they just HAVE to find for show and tell. And sometimes we can’t find both of someone’s shoes, library book,(which is supposed to be kept in the backpack!) or even their backpack, although it is SUPPOSED to be over by the door on the hooks. When the two littlest sleep through this whole ordeal each morning, it goes much more smoothly. I do remember the many years of getting kids ready with a nursing baby, though. It is difficult!
20. October 2009 at 2:26 pm :
I’m not quite there yet but I will be next year. I too have 5 kids. Right now 3 are in elementary school. My oldest will go to middle school next year. The next two will be in elementary school. My almost 4 year old will be going to preschool and I will still have my 1 year old at home. My husband works early and can not do any driving or kids wrangling, as you put it, so I too have to figure it all out! I’ve already started freaking out about it and as a result have started planning how it’s all going to work before we are even done with this school year! Good luck getting it to run smoothly for you!
20. October 2009 at 2:32 pm :
Где-то я уже похожее читала, причём слово в слово.
10. March 2010 at 12:20 pm :
We homeschool. That frees us up from the school-morning stress and is a huge blessing from so many other angles as well.
Have a blessed week building up your sacred home!